Hey friends! Welcome back and thanks for joining me again on the blog.
Have you ever been so engulfed in one area of your life that you have lost sight of yourself? Whether it is a new position at work, romantic relationship, caring for a older family member, activism, or dare I say… becoming a mommy, there are a countless number of ‘life roles’ that swallow us up and cause us to lose sight of who we are.
Oftentimes, when we enter into a new role it is not done with the intention to consume every aspect of our being… but sometimes it still happens.
When we become mothers we go from being responsible for ourselves and sometimes our partners (but that’s another post), to being responsible for the well-being of another human life who is also completely dependent on us.
Talk about pressure! Whew!
Caring for a little person is a HUGE responsibility and takes top priority in our lives. But let me let you in on a little secret…
It does not have to be your ONLY priority.
If you’re reading this and my words hit close to home, that may be a sign that you have been putting yourself on the back burner. If your wants, needs, and desires have been put to the side since starting your motherhood journey it’s okay. Mama, show yourself some grace. It happens to the best of us.
I am here to tell you that it is not too late for you.
Prior to becoming a mother you were a unique and talented woman with goals, ambitions, and dreams. And guess what mama?
You are still that person!
I don’t want you to read this post and think that I want you to revert back to the version of yourself prior to becoming a mother. That is not what I’m saying at all, because the woman you once were has evolved.
Instead, I’m encouraging you to connect to your identity as a woman now. The parts of you that are more than a mother.
So, join me by taking the first step in taking back your power and stepping into your own identity.
We’re going to do a little exercise, but don’t worry, I’ll go first…
I am a woman who is fearfully and wonderfully made. I am more than a mom. My name is Patience… not Remy’s mom.
Now it’s your turn… Say it with me.
I am a woman who is fearfully and wonderfully made. I am more than a mom. My name is (insert your name here)… not (insert child(ren) name here).
Now, that you’ve said those words out loud and have taken the first step of a mindset change I don’t want you to stop there. Let’s do a little bit more to connect you to the woman you are right now.
Carve out 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted time and pull out your journal, piece of paper, or phone and take a look at the 5 areas below to connect further to your interests, wants, and needs.
Look back: Even though you may have evolved from the woman you were when you first entered into motherhood there’s a high probability that you have some of the same interests. What’s a activity you loved, hobby you put aside because you “don’t have time”, or place you would go to clear your mind?
Since having my son I’ve neglected my guitar significantly. Even though playing always soothes me, this once beloved hobby took a back seat once I had my little guy.
Find that one hobby or activity you loved and try to pick it up again.
Try something new: Not really feeling any of your old hobbies or are you wanting to take it a step further by getting out of your comfort zone? Let’s do it! Try something new. Sign up for a 5k, pick up painting, or join that group.
When it comes to trying something new I would encourage you to give whatever activity your trying two chances before cancelling it completely. I’ve worked with women who found joy in activities they never thought they would do like knitting, painting, hiking, or flipping furniture.
Prioritize uninterrupted time: You will be a better mother, partner, friend, business owner, employee, etc. if you start prioritizing alone time. As mamas we are professional multitaskers. How we manage to complete 10,000 things at one time is beyond me, but somehow we get it done. Unfortunately, multitasking isn’t helpful when you are trying to maximize your time or even refill your cup.
The same way I asked you to carve out 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted time to go over these 5 points, I want to encourage you to incorporate some uninterrupted time from here on out.
If finding time every day seems like a bit much start with 3 days a week and add a additional day every two weeks.
Connect to your tribe: When is the last time you caught up with your girlfriends? What better way to reconnect with yourself than to reconnect to your tribe. Oftentimes, when we become engulfed in one of our ‘life roles’ not only do we become disconnected with ourselves but to others. Set up a phone date, Girls Night over Zoom, virtual brunch date, or have some backyard fun with the girls.
Once we’re out of quarantine you’ll have a lot more options in this area. So, once we have a fully functional outside/world plan that trip, go to that concert, have a night out, or hit up that festival.
Set goals: Are there any goals or aspirations you wanted to attain before motherhood took over? Let’s start small and break your goals into two different categories with two different subsets.
One being your personal goals and the other professional goals.
When looking at these two areas create one short term goal & one long term goal in each category. And if you’re feeling ambitious you can create a few more. Whether your goals are big or small make sure they are attainable. Attainability will help build confidence and help provide the momentum for you to keep going.
Mama, if you’ve become engulfed by motherhood I would encourage you to take these 5 tips seriously. Making your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical needs a priority in your life is not selfish, but a means of survival. You, your family, and friends will reap the benefits of you being apart of the equation.
I can’t wait to see how see your progress and hear how it goes. Share one step you are going to take to make yourself a priority in the comments below.
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If you need any additional support as you navigate motherhood schedule a 15-minute consultation with Patience today. You are not alone mama.
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