Hi friends! I would like to welcome everyone old and new to the WHOA MAMA blog. At the end of July my family relocated to Warner Robins, GA from Panama City, FL as my husband received military orders to Robins Air Force base. I don’t know about you, but I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve gotten a chance to just sit down and write.

I’m blaming it on the move and the fact that the month of August has sped by so fast… like where in the world did this month really go?

But I know you all understand and forgive me… Life happens to the best of us.

So, here I am trying to get back into the swing of things despite all the changes in my life. Tell me I’m not alone in this… Raise your hand if you’ve experienced any changes!

I know you’re probably thinking… where have you been all 2020! Of course, I’ve experienced change! And that is my point.

Change is an inevitable part of life. You are going to experience it regardless of your race, gender, sexual preference, socioeconomic status, blood type, relationship status, favorite color, makeup preference…okay I am ranting now. I am sure you get the picture.

But to put it frankly, life does not care whether you are willing, ready, or able to experience “said change”. It is going to happen whether we like it or not.

Our stories may be different, but one thing I am sure we have in common is that we have experienced some type of “change” at some point in our lives.  

If I had to pick a word to describe the past year of my life… hands down “CHANGE” would be the winner. Despite what has occurred in 2020 CHANGE would still be my word.

Whew! It is wild to think that so many changes happen without our approval, permission, or comfort zones in mind.

I will be the first to admit that change is hard, uncomfortable, and downright annoying.

Some of the recent changes I have seen others in my network experiencing are the back to school season, parts of outside opening back up, staying closed, home schooling, not getting a break, divorce, work issues, wedding shenanigans, getting pregnant, racial injustice, new jobs, and everything associated with COVID-19 (yes we’re still in a pandemic).

So, how have you been coping, dealing, and managing the changes in your life?

If managing change was one of your shortcomings, I have good news for you! That is a thing of the past!

2020 has been one heck of a year, and because of that alone you are going to come out on the other side with some extra armor aka grit aka resilience, skills, and a different perspective on what you can handle.

Trust me…This will put you ahead when dealing with challenges and changes to your future circumstances.  

So, I want to encourage you to keep on keeping on and developing that grit because you are stronger than you think. But if you are feeling stuck and are currently at a loss on how to cope with change you can start by incorporating these four tips.

1. Embrace the suck: Sometimes our current circumstances just suck. There is no way to dress it up or make it look pretty and that is okay. Ignoring, avoiding, and pushing our feelings aside is a natural reaction to avoid feeling uncomfortable. But it is not a long-term solution. Once you acknowledge your real feelings you can start taking the steps needed to change the narrative of your current situation.

So, go on and embrace the suck.

2. Control: I am pretty sure I’ve referenced control in a previous post or two. This is because I am an adamite believer that we can improve our mental state and overall wellbeing by focusing on what is in our control. So, humor me by doing a quick activity I do with clients who are having trouble identifying what is in their control.

• Take out a sheet of paper & something to write with.
• Trace your hand.
• Now, think about everything in your control & write them on the inside of your hand. Note: This can be anything from your schedule, diet, thoughts, choice of words, or putting on “real” clothes.
• Next, think about everything outside of your control and list them in the space on the outside of your hand.

When we feel like we have lost control of various aspects of our life and “everything” is against us, this exercise can help us reset and regain our focus. Keep this sheet in a safe place and continue to reflect on or add to it in the upcoming week. You might surprise yourself by being in control of more than you thought.  

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3. Self-care: What fills you up and makes you feel whole again? Hold onto those activities, people, and spaces. When experiencing changes in our lives taking care of ourselves is one of the first activities to go out the window. We’re too busy, at a loss, and struggling to get it together so instead we push it aside.

Well, I’m here to tell you that self-care is a mandatory activity; therefore, I would encourage you to find a way to do at least one activity every day. Yes, everyday! Setting aside at least 5-minutes in your day to read, write out your thoughts, listen to music, or just sit can make all the difference in how you handle change. You cannot run on empty so it’s time to start recharging your battery.

4. Grace: Yup! I’m talking about grace again. We can never show ourselves too much grace. If you are having a difficult time it is okay. We are human and we all have flaws. You have ever right to feel overwhelmed, irritated, anxious, or sad. If you ever feel like your feelings or emotions are too much for you to handle on your own, I would encourage you to lean on your support network or seek professional help. That’s what we’re hear for, you do not have to go through this alone.   

Change is an aspect of life that is going to keep on keeping on whether we like it or not. My hope is that after you embrace the suck and show yourself some grace you can start taking action to change your narrative by continuing to care for yourself & focusing on what is in your control.

Again, thanks for stopping by and being in this space with me. See you next time.

-Patience

What do you do to handle change? Share your tips in the comments below.

In July I sat down with Brandi with Mom After Hours and talked about changes. It was perfecting timing with all the upcoming changes in my own life. If you haven’t gotten a chance take a listen to the show below.

Dealing with change alone can be difficult. I created a 6-week mental wellness group called A Postpartum State of mind to educate, validate, and normalize the changes that occur to a woman’s mental health after having a baby. If you are currently pregnant and would like to learn more about whether this group please set up a time for us to chat by clicking here.

If you need any additional support as you navigate motherhood schedule a 15-minute consultation with Patience today. You are not alone mama.

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