Remy & I while the movers were packing up our home in NE

Hi there! Thanks for joining me on the blog. Last week I was chatting with a friend and we brought up the “in between”. This isn’t the beginning or end, start or the finish but instead the period where you’re transitioning from one place to the next… that tricky little space in between.

How have you maneuvered from here to there? This or that? Or role to role?

Did these changes come effortlessly? Or were there times you felt lost or stuck? I’m going to take a wild guess and say you’ve probably experienced a mixture of both. Maybe some of the changes in your life occurred seamlessly, while others caught you off guard.

The older I get the more I realize… wait let me rephrase that… the more I’ve come to accept that life is all about change. Over the past 32 years I’ve moved from place to place, transitioned from teenager to adulthood, college grad to therapist/coach, single to married, wife to mother, roaming citizen to quarantined, along with many other things in between. As you read that last sentence perhaps you thought about the many changes you’ve experienced throughout your life as well.

So, I’m going to check in again and ask… have you ever felt like you were caught in the in between?

At different times in our lives my friend and I discussed how we lived with our parents as we moved from one state to another. And even though we are extremely grateful for our parents we both felt that during these times we were stuck…. caught in the in between. So naturally, my mind starts wondering and searching for other times I’ve found myself in the in between.

Remy & I while we lived with my parents

If I’m being honest I discovered that I’ve been in the in between for quite sometime now. From pausing my career, living with my parents while my husband completed his training, moving to this state that I’ll be in for less than a year to only move again (yeah the military has us on quite a ride), and let’s not forget the oh so obvious… quarantine.

After analyzing my thoughts I realized I’ve just been hanging out and kicking it with my good old buddy the in between. And I didn’t even know it.

So, as you see the in between comes in many shapes and forms. And sometimes we don’t realize we’re in this tricky little space. But what is clear is that something is off…we feel stuck… mentally and sometimes physically.

What do you do when you feel stuck?

In these types of moments I’ve noticed I incorporate some simple concepts into my day to day life to get by. I focus on what is in my control, my routines, something I can look forward too, being kind to myself, and getting some good ol’ rest (well as much I can with a little one that wakes up several times a night).

What’s in your control: Let’s be honest, as humans we typically don’t like it when we feel out of control. So, when faced with uncertain circumstances it can be extremely helpful to focus on what is in your control. How are you spending your time, what are you eating, taking in from the media, or thinking? We don’t like being in a state of chaos, so I would encourage you to shift your focus on what you can control instead of what you cannot.

Routines: Establishing and keeping routines goes hand in hand with focusing on what is in your control. Routines provide a sense of normalcy, expectations, and yup you guessed it control. For the past month I’ve decided to add onto my typical morning routine because it helps set my intention and establish my flow for the day. I started waking up a little earlier to add on a devotional/bible reading and yoga routine to my pre-existing routine of making my bed, getting dressed, wrangling the little boy, and eating breakfast.

My son is pretty active so starting my day off quietly and by myself has made a huge difference. So, take a look at the routines you already have in place. What do you want to keep, and what would you like to change? If you are interested in making changes to your daily routines I find that mornings and nighttime are easier times to incorporate new routines.

Be kind to yourself: I don’t have much of an explanation for this tip. Just give yourself a break… Sheesh, you’re caught in the in between.

Rest: Take a moment to sit back and think… are you that booked and busy person who makes excuses for why you shouldn’t rest? If this is you, you may be caught in the in between so you can finally take a chill pill and get some much needed rest. Rest is an extremely important part of refilling yourself back up. So take the time to do just that if you need too.

Something to look forward too: I’ve always found that having an event, goal, or activity to look forward to helps me while I’m in the in between. Whether it’s being reunited with my husband, going to a concert with friends, moving back to the south, or checking off one of my goals, knowing these events where in my future has helped me get through the tough times. I know we’re currently in a pandemic so planning for the future may seem pretty impossible. But even though outside is closed I still have some things to look forward too. In two weeks my husband and I will find out our next duty station (where we will move), I have some collaborations with other boss chicks, tons of virtual events (yoga classes, virtual conferences, live concerts), more business ventures, and of course looking forward to experiencing all of the simple things in life I took for granted prior to the pandemic.

In my case, I’ve noticed my in between moments tend to expose areas in my life I need to show a little extra love, care, or attention. So, back to my original question… Outside of the obvious COVID-19 what do you think? Have you been caught in the in between?

How did you handle it? What did you do to get through? Is there a tip you’re going to start incorporating today? Let me know what you think in the comments section below, and if you like what you’ve read don’t forget to like, subscribe, or share with a friend.

Keep in mind that we are all in this together, and I am here for you. If you or someone you know are ever in need of any additional support outside of the blog please contact me for a free consultation. Motherhood is not meant to be done alone so let’s continue to do motherhood together.

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The content on this website and blog are for informational purposes only. Prepared to Prosper, LLC and Patience Riley assume no responsibility for how you use any information or documentation provided through this site. Nothing contained on the site shall constitute as professional advice or substitute treatment. None of the information available on this site shall be construed as an endorsement, guarantee, representation or warranty with respect to any therapeutic practitioner or treatment. 

6 thoughts on “The In-Between

  1. This is a great read. I actually had to sit and think about my “in between” as I read this. I’ve definitely had my share of in between throughout this thing call mommy hood lol. However, having that feeling of losing my control actually put me in a more sound position in life. I was forced to deal with not knowing. Ultimately the in between became easy in way.

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    1. Thanks for checking it out lady! I completely agree. The more you’re in the in between the easier it gets for sure. I didn’t know it at the time but constant unknown I experienced as a military kid has really helped me become flexible and comfortable in these in between moments later on in life. Thanks again for always checking out my posts and giving extra insight!

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  2. I”m absolutely in the “in-between” and it feels like a waiting game. Waiting on what’s next, we have to force ourselves to be ok with just being exactly where we are. Good post!

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    1. Thank you thank you thank you!! Looks like a lot of us have been kicking it with the in between lol. That’s a really good way to look at it, meeting ourselves right where we are and being okay with that.

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  3. Really enjoyed the read! Being “in-between” isn’t a new feeling for me either and it’s nice to read about some ways to manage that feeling, especially when it seems to drag on!

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